


Did he say anything else?

by Anielka



Series: Hear me out! [3]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Gen, Ghost Connor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 18:46:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12966018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anielka/pseuds/Anielka
Summary: And he noticedThat you still fill out the quizzesThat they put in those teen magazines.Oh my God, what are you, twelve?Wait, how do you know that?Or, Connor's thoughts during 'If I Could Tell Her'





	Did he say anything else?

**Author's Note:**

> So, I finished my exams (thank you Jesus and hail Mary) so, in theory, I may be able to post more of all I write, so here's one of my favorites.   
> 'If I Could Tell Her' is so sweet (if it weren't all lies) and I love it, but Connor would seriously hate it.

_He thought you were... awesome._

_He thought I was awesome? My brother?_

_Definitely!_

**Well, yeah, I mean, you’re popular _and_ mentally stable…**

_How?_

 

Well…

He said

There’s nothing like your smile

Sort of subtle and perfect and real

He said

You never knew how wonderful

That smile could make someone feel

**Those are a lot of words to describe someone’s smile Evan,**

**take it easy with the lies.**

And he knew

Whenever you get bored

You scribble stars on the cuffs of your jeans.

**Dork.**

And he noticed

That you still fill out the quizzes

That they put in those teen magazines.

**Oh my God, what are you, twelve?**

**Wait, how do _you_ know that?**

But he kept it all inside his head

What he saw he left unsaid

And though he wanted to

He couldn't talk to you

He couldn't find the way

But he would always say

**What are you going to say now?**

If I could tell her

Tell her everything I see

If I could tell her

**Are you seriously confessing your undying love for my sister through me?**

**The psycho brother who committed suicide?**

 

How she's everything to me

But we're a million worlds apart

**You are sitting in the same bed right now, asshole.**

**_My_ ** **bed.**

And I don't know how I would even start

**You’ve got zero respect for the dead.**

If I could tell her

If I could tell her

                          **I swear to God, Evan Hansen, if I could**

**tell you what I think of you-**

_Did he say anything else?_

_A-about you?_

**No, Evan, about the neighbor’s dog.**

_Never mind, I don't really care anyways…_

**Ouch.**

_No, no, no..just, no, no..he said..he said so many things,_

_I’m just..I’m trying to remember the best ones. So, um.._

**Congratulations. You managed two full sentences.**

He thought

You looked really pretty, er…

**I may be dead, but I can still kick your ass, Evan,**

**and I will if you keep saying dumb shit like that.**

It looked pretty cool when you put indigo streaks in your hair,

 

_He did?_

**Well, it did look cool…**

 

And he wondered how you learned to dance

Like all the rest of the world isn't there

**Yeah, ha ha, you do dance like that…**

But he kept it all inside his head

What he saw he left unsaid…

If I could tell her

Tell her everything I see

**I know you still don’t like onions.**

If I could tell her

How she's everything to me

**And you still wear that shitty scarf that I**

**gave you two Christmases ago!**

But we're a million worlds apart

And I don't know how I would even start

If I could tell her

If I could tell her

But what do you do when there's this great divide?

**I don’t know…**

He just seemed so far away

**I’m sorry…**

And what do you do when the distance is too wide?

**I’m really sorry, Zo-**

It’s like I don’t know anything.

**I never-**

And how do you say,

I love you?

**I love you!**

I love you.

**I do love you, Zoey!**

I love you.

**I love you so much-**

I love you.

**W-wait, Evan, what are you-**

But we're a million worlds apart,

**Take a fucking step back from my sister.**

**Right now.**

And I don't know how I would even start.

**Don’t you fucking dare!**

If I could tell her…

**If you kiss her, Evan, I swear to God-**

If I could…

**In my bed?! With my sister?!**

**Are you serious?!**

**Evan, you’re a shitty friend.**

 

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to all my bilingual writters who, like me, have to triple check their spelling, bc let me tell you, 'Christmases' doesn't make any sense.
> 
> Thank you for reading!   
> Every kudo and comment makes my day, so don't hesitate to leave one!


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